I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
