If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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