We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
