my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
