I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
