Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Your penis caused this!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
