worst night to have a conscience
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
