I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
