just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
