some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
