Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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