My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she looked like the before picture.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
