There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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