week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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