Grow some girl-balls and come out already
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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