Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
