Im at strip club and am horny
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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