yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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