Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
