ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
time to smoke my breakfast
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
