Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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