I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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