This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
