Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
