Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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