what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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