yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
This is my gift to your gina
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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