Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
3pm strippers are depressing
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
