I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
