I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
