i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
