I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
