Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
