i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
