ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
