True but thats because hes a fetus.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
