you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
