This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
