she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you inspire me to be a worse person
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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