i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
