Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
