Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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