yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
