we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
