At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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