dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
