I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
