If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
