i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the day after is always just damage control
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
