Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Someone came in the potted fern
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
