worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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